


The Casualties of Eggnog

by stone_in_focus



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Christmas, Drabble, Fluff, M/M, POV Third Person, Post-Game(s), Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 02:51:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1101510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stone_in_focus/pseuds/stone_in_focus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Space husbands try to piece together the events of the Christmas party the night before. Pictures don't help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Casualties of Eggnog

"Shit…how much did we have to drink last night?"

The lump of blankets wriggles next to Shepard as he groans and shields his eyes from the sunlight piercing through the window. “I don’t know, but my head feels like it’s on fire.”

Further grunting and appendage-shifting ensues. “That’s because we’re right next to the fireplace,” Kaidan says.

Shepard spends the next ten minutes debating whether or not he’s hot enough to get up on his feet. Or if he really has to take a piss. He decides rolling over and inching away from Kaidan’s sweaty backside suffices for now. Pillow feels kind of funny, though, and he reaches under his head and pulls out a Santa hat, only to discover the bit of scorched fuzz dangling from the pom pom.

"Kaidan, our house is still standing, right?"

"…Yeah. Why?"

Shepard lets the hat plop back onto his face as he begins to doze off again. “Just checking.”

*****

Kaidan complains about the house being completely trashed. Shepard thinks the messier it is, the more successful your Christmas party was.

They find the pictures while doing a sweep of the living room, strewn between a couple of beer bottles and the crusty remains of a piece of pie on the coffee table.

"Huh. Don’t remember that," Shepard says as he picks them up. "Or that. Definitely don’t remember _that._ ”

Kaidan butts in next to him, glancing over his shoulder. “I don’t remember you wearing that shirt, either.”

"Think I spilled eggnog or something. Must’ve had to go upstairs and change." Shepard pauses. "I do remember you helping—" 

“ _Oh._  Yeah. Yeah, that was…good.”

Shepard brushes a thumb against his own mouth, briefly licking his lips. “You went down better than the eggnog.”

*****

Shepard has a hard time explaining the poses. It’s not a proper hangover, after all, without the twinges of embarrassment and regret.

"Came with the territory when you married me, Kaidan," Shepard says. "Maybe I thought I was a model. Or trying to kiss you. You don’t look too thrilled, though." He scratches the underside of a chin that could use a soak and a shave. "Sure don’t know what that other one is."

"I vaguely recall you busting out with a rousing chorus from _Blasto: The Musical._ ”

"Does kinda look like I’m trying to serenade you."

Kaidan comments that it’s not much different from when Shepard’s sober. “Where’d you get that hat with the ear flaps?”

"I thought it was yours." Out of the corner of his eye, Shepard spots the red cap hiding in the sink. He doesn’t have to get too close to get a whiff. "Well, whoever it belongs to…don’t think they’re going to want it back now."

*****

"This one’s a nice one, at least. You were getting pretty snuggly by then. Could almost use it for next year’s card."

Shepard swipes the picture from Kaidan’s fingers. “Think that was right before I passed out.”

"Right on top of me, too. Normally, I wouldn’t mind, but you’re like a damn rock when you’re out cold." Kaidan peers over at the photo again, threading his arms around Shepard’s waist. "Wait…you changed more than once?"

"Must’ve been the shrimp dip."

Kaidan cocks an eyebrow, glancing at the drippy stain in the middle of Shepard’s tee. “Must’ve had seconds.”

Good reason as any to take off the shirt. “Requesting clean up on Aisle Shepard.”

Either Kaidan’s fighting back last night’s hors d’oeuvres, or he’s choking on a laugh. “Yeah, that’s…that’s pretty terrible, Shepard.”

Still doesn’t stop Kaidan from biting his lower lip when Shepard ruffles the hairs below his navel.

*****

Even the back of Shepard’s ears are squeaking by the time he slips out of the shower, but Kaidan looks a little disappointed for what just might be a galactic record. 

"You’re done already? I was planning on sneaking in, but that damn trash lid wouldn’t shut again." 

Shepard feels an upwards creak in the corner of his mouth. “I always have time for another debriefing, Major.”

No groaning now, though—at least not the bad sort, and Shepard takes that as a good sign. Fingers hook onto elastic as hips roll into each other, Kaidan already half-hard and rubbing against the cotton where Shepard grows damp. “I never could stay clean for long, anyway.”

 

  



End file.
